Self Improvement

How to Get Rid of Shyness?

Shyness is a huge problem for some. Its cause may be lack of self confidence, hesitation, a feeling of worthlessness or even depression. It can be a big hindrance in public speaking, interaction or discussion. Shyness must not be ignored and measures should be taken to decrease it.

It is important for people suffering from shyness to mingle among people. They must go to places where they would be required to interact with people. Being self conscious is also a big problem. Be comfortable with who you are. Behave naturally. Do not wear masks or try to be what you are not. Going for counseling or attending workshops are of great help. Building up self confidence and boosting morale is very important. Slowly and steadily you will overcome shyness completely.

Shyness becomes a problem when it comes to your professional life. One cannot afford to be shy while talking to colleagues and bosses. Introvert behavior can cause problems many times. People might mistake you to be an arrogant person.

A simple way of overcoming shyness is do what you evade most. If you hesitate in talking to people or going to parties or places where people will gather to talk; do that the most. Go to those places and try to face the people. Try talking to them. Initiate a conversation all by yourself. Starting a conversation will boost up your confidence like never before. Mingling among people and making friends will help the most.

While you talk to people you must not be conscious of your looks or behavior. Don’t worry about what you might say, or that you could make a fool out of yourself. Be polite and dress well and there is nothing more to that. Being overtly self conscious will pass a negative message to the people you are talking to. They will immediately make out that you lack self confidence.

If you still can’t muster up courage to talk to people many confidence building workshops and personality development classes are held. Attend them. Take most out of it. Make use of that. Feel that they are there to help you get rid of your shyness and they are your guides. Don’t hesitate in asking the instructors questions if you have any in your mind. Discuss your problem with them and they will come up with a practical solution for it. If the solution doesn’t help ask them for another alternative and that will work.

If you feel that you are not capable enough of talking to other people or feel inferior to them talk to a person you trust the most. Talk to him/her. Ask for their advice. Try to stay among people who love you and care for you. They will make you feel special. They will appreciate you. This will boost up your confidence. It will make you feel happy about who you are.

Try speaking in front of mirror just see that you are delivering words, and delivering them correctly nothing else matters your looks, your stuttering etc would improve automatically.

If the condition worsens and you get a feeling of worthlessness or depression, consult a doctor. It will help you a great deal.

Treat your shyness or it will become your second nature. Start taking steps today to get rid of your shyness. Remember delaying is ignoring.

Is Forgiveness the Key to Self Improvement?

Forgiving any one for something wrong done by him/her seems the most difficult task to do. The whole idea of forgiveness doesn’t appeal easily as it becomes really difficult for us to forget and let go what has happened. Even for the smallest mistakes we accuse the other person of being greatly responsible for it and crib about what he/she has done to us.

We often think that the principle of forgiveness is either better off in books or be practiced by sages and saints. Those who have planned to leave the materialistic world follow such principles. In today’s big bad world, such principles can hardly find their place.

Think about the guilt that has bothered you whenever you have done something wrong. You can lie to the world but not to your own self. If because of your ego or your pride you say to yourself that whatever I did wasn’t so ruthless, you know you are wrong. When something wrong happens that your conscience cannot ignore it means, the mistake was big. You seek forgiveness that would relieve you from the guilt. Similarly when it comes to the other person who has by his harsh words made you feel bad or has done something wrong, with all your might you hold him responsible. Think once, he might be seeking forgiveness the same way you do when you commit a mistake or hurt a person unknowingly.

Forgiving any one seems to be hard, but if you step in the person’s shoes you will realize it is better to forgive him. You might not realize but forgiveness is the parent of all virtues. Being forgiven or forgiving someone holds the path of real happiness; the happiness from within.

When you get forgiven by someone, you would feel the happiness of getting relief from the guilt, but when you forgive someone it holds the happiness of doing well to someone. The happiness of forgiving is larger than the happiness of being forgiven.

If you do not forgive someone, bitter feeling of seeking revenge, anger and frustration would prevail, ruining your internal happiness. You would be looking for opportunities when you can take your revenge. This is actually a vicious cycle that’s never going to end. You take revenge, the same will happen to you and again you do the same. This is never going to end ruining the relationship with continued feeling of anger, frustration, jealousy and revenge.

The best way to put an end to the whole thing is to let go. Josh Billings once said, “There is no revenge as complete as forgiveness”. Letting go would happen only when you forgive the other person. Forgiving the other person holds the essence of self improvement.

Self improvement is all about strengthening your virtues and getting rid of your vices. Forgiveness, being the parent of all virtues, would bring in you relief, happiness and the contentment of doing something right morally, ethically and spiritually.

This would improve and change the way you think. You would understand that the real happiness lies in the smaller things in life. It changes the way you think, the way you act or behave. This makes you feel good about yourself and the other person whom you forgive would develop more respect for you.

Forgiveness is often underestimated because of the fear that if you’ll forgive the other person he would suppose you to be a coward. Putting these thoughts aside you must forgive and forget and leave this to the other person about how he will take it. Don’t assume things. He might develop great respect and love for you. If not today then someday he will understand the real happiness of forgiveness when the same happens to him.

To sum up, Mother Teresa gave the essence of forgiveness in one beautiful sentence saying “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive”.

How to get rid of stage fright?

Stage fright is a common fear. It is the fear of performing in front of audience whether it is a school play, a business presentation or a speech in front of a larger audience. The very idea of talking to a large audience makes some people break in a cold sweat and render them speechless. However, something as simple as this is all it takes to lose a perfect business opportunity or lose a chance to fame. Some simple techniques can help get rid of stage fright.

Arrive at the venue before others. This gives you an opportunity to get comfortable with the space and get a feel of it. Practice the upcoming session or performance by yourself, using the stage or podium so that when you actually perform, you don’t feel like you are doing new. Greet the audience in a friendly manner and try and build a rapport with them. It helps for the performer to feel like he knows the audience as it removes the fear of the unknown.

If you do fumble right in the beginning, do not apologize. Ignore the whole thing so that you know you have not attracted any unwanted attention. Try and keep your heart rate steady and continue. Long breathes can help a lot in keeping you calm and composed. Try to look confident, even if you don’t feel it because once you get in the whole process of performing or presenting, things will fall in to place as you practiced.

Focus on the content of presentation or speech. It makes the audience focus on the performance or the presentation instead of focusing on you alone. It gives you sufficient time to compose yourself. Have superior content so that everyone notices it and the general quality of the presentation is good, even if your presenting skills are not excellent.

Don’t panic and don’t think about the performance at all. You must remember your life doesn’t depend on it. Try and get an attitude that says “I have nothing to lose”. Try deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and remove all tension from your body. Your best bet is to try and make your mind believe that you are performing in front of no one and they, the audience don’t know a word of what you are about to present this helps in exuding confidence. It is easier said than done, but those with an active imagination can manage this trick and it is the best trick in the book. The worst stage fright attacks happen just before the performance. If you can use meditation and breathing exercises through this period, the remaining performance will carry through if your practice sessions have been rock solid.